For Potential Offenders
Welcome
If your own sexual thoughts trouble you — or if someone else has told you they should — this page is for you.
Perhaps they’re thoughts or images about sexual contact with a child. Perhaps they involve force, coercion, or violence — toward a child, or toward an adult. Perhaps your body produces arousal you never asked for and can’t switch off. Or perhaps sex has taken over more of your life than you want it to, and you think of yourself as a sex addict.
These thoughts can feel alien and intrusive. They arrive without permission, they don’t leave when you tell them to, and what frightens you most may be not understanding why you think and feel this way.
They rarely arrive alone. They tend to bring shame with them, and a quiet sense of not deserving to feel whole, and a pull to keep some distance from the people around you.
Holding a secret like this can be very hard, affecting how you feel about yourself, sabotaging how you wish you could show up in life, hurting relationships you care about. You may have been living this way for years, with no one to tell.
There may also be moments when your mind starts making excuses to justify acting on these thoughts. That it wouldn’t really hurt anyone. That fantasies are harmless. That they wanted it. That they wouldn’t remember. Your mind may also tell you that you can get away with it. And you might. But you won’t get away from it. You would carry it into every room, every relationship, every quiet moment for the rest of your life — and so would the person you hurt.
Pay attention when the excuses start. That is the point where this gets dangerous. It is also the point where one phone call can stop everything that would have come next.
If your mind has been doing this, call today.
You may also be reading this unsure whether you want anything to change. You can still reach out. Nobody will ask you to be certain before they’ll talk to you.
But whatever is in your head, it isn’t who you are. Your thoughts don’t define you. You’re the one who decides what happens next.
So thank you for being here. We mean that. It can’t be easy to live with any of this, and it can’t have been easy to come looking for help.
Every organization on this page exists for exactly this. Their staff do this work every day, and they do it without judgment. All of it is free. The helplines are anonymous — you’re not asked for your name, and several don’t record your number. Therapy works differently: it’s confidential, and the therapist will know who you are.
Take what you need — one number, one website, one conversation. If all you can do today is read this, we’re glad you’re here. With the right support, people who live with this can stop being ruled by it. That can be you.
If a child is in danger right now
- Immediate danger, anywhere — call your local emergency number. In the U.S., 911.
- United States — Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline, 1-800-422-4453. Phone, text, and live chat, 24 hours a day.
If you are not safe tonight
- United States and Canada — call or text 988. Free, confidential, 24 hours. Two separate national services share this number and it works in these two countries only; in Canada, English and French.
- United Kingdom and Ireland — Samaritans, 116 123. Free, 24 hours, and you can also email or write to them.
- Australia — Lifeline, 13 11 14. Free, 24 hours, with text and online chat available.
- Anywhere else — findahelpline.com lists crisis lines by country.
You do not have to explain everything. You only have to say you are not safe.
If you are under 21
- WhatsOK — United States, ages 14 to 21
whatsok.org · no phone lineFree and confidential support with questions about your own or a friend’s sexual thoughts and behavior. Run by Stop It Now!, who also answer the adult helpline listed further down. - Shore — United Kingdom, teenagers
shorespace.org.uk · no phone line
Free and anonymous advice for young people worried about sexual thoughts or behavior, online or offline. Run by the Lucy Faithfull Foundation.
If your thoughts are about children
These services exist for this exact conversation, including if you have been looking at illegal images and want to stop.
Troubled Desire — anywhere in the world
troubled-desire.com · no phone line, no contact with anyone
Free, anonymous, and entirely self-guided: a private self-assessment and modules you work through alone, at your own pace. Available in English, German, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Hindi, Marathi and more, from the Institute of Sexology and Sexual Medicine at Charité – Universitätsmedizin Berlin.
Stop It Now! — United States
1-888-773-8368 · also chat and email at stopitnow.org
Free and confidential, weekday afternoons Eastern time, with no caller ID and no IP address recorded during chat or email. They have reported phone trouble recently and are currently directing people to chat or email.
Stop It Now! UK & Ireland — Lucy Faithfull Foundation
0808 1000 900 · from Ireland +44 1372 847 161 · also live chat and secure email at stopitnow.org.uk
Free, anonymous, and confidential, Monday to Thursday 9am–9pm and Friday 9am–5pm, with your number scrambled so advisors never see it and interpreters in over 200 languages. They also run structured programmes for people who have accessed illegal images, whether or not police have ever been involved.
Talking for Change — Canada
1-833-703-3303 · also anonymous chat at talkingforchange.ca
Free and anonymous by phone or chat, nationwide, from the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health. Free therapy is available in most provinces and territories — the helpline is anonymous, the therapy is confidential.
Stop It Now! Australia — Jesuit Social Services
1800 01 1800 · also live chat at stopitnow.org.au
Free and anonymous, with your number not recorded and no identifying details asked for. Includes free self-help modules on stopping access to child sexual abuse material.
If you are afraid of hurting a partner
No helpline anywhere is dedicated only to this. These two will take the call.
A Call For Change — United States
877-898-3411 · also email at acallforchangehelpline.org
Free, anonymous, and confidential, for adults and teenagers, 10am–10pm Eastern every day of the year, with translation available. Leave a message outside those hours and they call back within 24 hours.
Respect Phoneline — United Kingdom
0808 802 4040 · also webchat and email at respectphoneline.org.uk
Free, anonymous, and confidential, for anyone harming a partner or family member who wants to stop.
If sex has taken over your life
Free twelve-step fellowships, worldwide, meeting in person and online. These are not therapy — they are rooms of people who have been where you are, and you can sit at the back and say nothing.
Sex Addicts Anonymous — saa-recovery.org · 800-477-8191
The phone line gives meeting referrals on weekdays only; it is not a counseling line. Find meetings any day of the week through the website.
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous — slaafws.org
No central phone line
Meeting finder on the website, with local intergroup numbers listed by region.
Sexaholics Anonymous — sa.org
No central phone line
Global meeting map on the website.
For family and friends
Stop It Now! in the United States, UK and Ireland, and Australia takes calls about someone else’s thoughts or behavior — a large share of their work. Use the numbers listed above for your country.
Talking for Change — 1-833-703-3303 · talkingforchange.ca
Anonymous support for people in Canada who believe someone they know has a sexual interest in children.
Stop It Now! UK Family and Friends Forum — stopitnow.org.uk/family-and-friends-forum · online only
A moderated space for people connected to someone who has offended online.
A Call For Change — 877-898-3411
Open to family and friends of someone using abuse in a relationship, on the same hours as above.
If a child is at risk, please act on that first. Then get support for yourself.